Parents and teachers, creating a single team. In the modern world, to get a decent education, it is not enough to choose a good school and be brought up in an exemplary well-off family. It is important that these institutions work closely together, work together, and make joint efforts to ensure that the educational process is successful. This is not easy to achieve, because it requires a restructuring of the relationship between teachers and parents.
Educational process organization
First of all, it is important to understand that the educational process should be carried out not only taking into account the needs and interests of children, but also with an emphasis on the needs of adults, thanks to which the main function of the school is realized. Human interaction determines the success of the educational process of the younger generation. How it will build the communication between teacher and parent, how they will relate, support each other, what they would do to meet the needs of everyone, whether to overcome obstacles that prevent them to work in a team depends on how well, with what impact the child will begin to learn, to seek new knowledge.
Parents and teachers
It is a fairly common situation when teachers and parents show their goodwill at a parent-teacher meeting, exchange smiles, and encourage each other by having common interests, but often these smiles hide mutual fears and frustrations. Increasingly, there are parents who have a clearly negative attitude towards school. You can even systematize typical collective images of adults expressing dissatisfaction, including:
Parents who are difficult to please (this is just out of the realm of science fiction!) They often go to school, but not to ask about the success of their children, but in order to show another dissatisfaction, to complain. There is also the opposite type of parents, they are because of their timidity and helplessness, do not go to school at all, they just do not have the spirit to do it.
Parents consciously discourage their children from studying and attending classes, because they draw an extremely biased image of the educational institution in front of them. It is unlikely that a child will wait with trepidation for the first of September to go to school for the first time, when his parents up to this point constantly said that: “You will go to school, there will be no time for pranks and games at all”, “there you will be quickly taught discipline, you will walk on a string”.
Parents who have unrealistic, utopian hopes for school. They dream that their child will be turned into a child Prodigy within the walls of an educational institution. They will do something impossible, something that they themselves did not get at the time, teach what they did not give in the family. Such discontents are the most common among parents ,and there is currently a tendency for them to grow. Noting that the miracle they hoped for did not happen (the child’s genius abilities were never revealed), adults begin to put the idea of the futility of school in young minds.
Parents who are hostile to any innovation, the trend of modernity in school (although they themselves, as schoolchildren, wanted such changes). Some of them believe that students should not be given freedom, especially regarding behavior in the classroom, in the classroom (while at the time their excessively strict discipline was oppressive).
Parents who overly identify with their children, often take any success or failure of their students to heart; it may even seem that they themselves attend school.
Adults, without a doubt, have the right to criticize (both teachers and the educational institution as a whole). The importance of constructive criticism is obvious. However, once again, when you question the effectiveness of the teacher’s teaching methods, do not give an example of outdated ideas that you have learned from your school days. If you like a teacher, you will most likely not criticize them, and if your child sees how well you will respond to them, then he will begin to treat the teacher with respect.
The “maximum program” for teachers (in relation to parents) is to make them feel their importance and significance in the educational process, and the most that parents can do for teachers is to make them understand that they play an important role in the family as a whole and in the development of the child.
Through difficult situations when the teacher does not like it, your attitude to the school is checked. How should parents behave in this case? Spend some diagnostics of your phobias, perhaps among them there is a “school”, which suffered in childhood, and now it has manifested itself with new force. There are situations when parents, under the influence of far from happy childhood memories, “infected” their children with negative emotions towards school. To make sure that there is no diagnosis of “school phobia”, take control of the feelings and physical States in those moments when you have to interact with the school. Answer the following questions.
When you enter an educational institution, does your stomach start to contract?
On the eve of the parent-teacher meeting, do you have a restless sleep?
Does the body tremble when the identity of the child’s teacher is accidentally mentioned in a conversation?
Are the comments that the teacher makes to your child disturbing to the point that you can’t find a place for yourself, and try to catch the deep background in every possible way?
Get rid of the habit of belittling teachers and criticizing their work in front of children. Of course, you should not be in a situation where your child, as soon as he crosses the threshold of the house, begins to complain about the incompetence or pickiness of the teacher, whitewash the entire teaching staff and blame the child. However, it is not acceptable to share the child’s opinion that the teacher is “harmful” or “boring”. Monitor your phone conversations so that your child’s ears do not hear your arguments about “stupid”, “delusional” homework.
Parents ‘ feedback is important to the school, but unnecessary annoyance is unacceptable. No one forbade complaining and making requests, but it is important to adhere to an unspoken hierarchy in this matter. In other words, start your journey of truth with a class teacher. Jumping over your head and going straight to the headmaster, without giving the class teacher even the opportunity to listen to you and evaluate what is happening, you will cause a wave of indignation from him. But first, you will talk to a disgruntled Director who clearly does not like the moment you appear in his office, without first trying to understand at the class level. And only when the teaching staff and the Director do not solve your problem (for a number of reasons), you can contact the local Department of education with a clear conscience.
The basis for the complaint
The following examples illustrate the reasons that may be the basis for complaints.
Your right to believe and count on the fact that the school will be not indifferent, interested in your child. Insisting on a personal meeting with the teacher, you have every reason to expect that the teacher will specifically talk about your child, without resorting, and even more so without getting off, with General phrases such as: “your son is so wonderful”, “everyone at this age is the same”. One of the functions of the school to inform parents. Your claims will be well-founded, if only at the end of the school year you will be informed of the presence of difficulties with the study of the child.
Your right to focus the teacher’s attention on unsystematic, inconsistent distribution of the load on homework, when the child spends more than 3 hours preparing lessons in one day, and then, for several days in a row, they are assigned light tasks, in a small amount or not at all.
You have the right to make a comment to the teacher if he is too picky about your child or Vice versa tries not to notice it. After all, such behavior on the part of the teacher can negatively affect the psyche of the student.
It is important to stop any gossip behind the backs of the teaching staff; it is unfair to complain that the school does not provide assistance if you did not apply for it.
Find common language
Parents often have to do more than just find a common language with the school. Thus, when they criticize any innovation, some of them are afraid to say something superfluous, worrying that any objection will be perceived with hostility. And the child will suffer from this. The level of training in building relationships with parents in modern teachers is quite high, so often the experience is not enough for moms and dads. At first glance, it may seem that there should be no special difficulties, but this impression is deceptive. An ordinary conversation between a teacher and a parent is rightly considered difficult and overly emotional, because it intertwines hopes, expectations, worries, wishes, and contradictions.
Take note of the following recommendations
At the beginning of the conversation, make a few compliments to the teacher, focus on positive decisions in the classroom interior (the presence of a gallery of children’s drawings, a corner of achievements and victories in school competitions, a selection of books on the shelves); there is always something to praise. Teachers, like everyone else, need kind words.
Tell the teacher what extraordinary family situation has affected the child, their academic performance or communication skills (death or serious illness of a loved one, divorce, addition to the family, moving).
Do not forget about the abilities, skills, and habits of your child (perhaps others do not even know about some of them).
If the child does not have time for any subject and needs help, tell the teacher about it.
If the purpose of your visit is to discuss the child’s grades, it is useful to clarify at the beginning of the conversation what parameters are used to evaluate students ‘ knowledge.
It is appropriate to ask in General terms what students will have to learn during this school year (if you were not informed of such information at the beginning of the year). Specify what kind of help in learning the training material from your side should be received.
After the conversation, you should have a clear picture of what is happening in the school walls. If you have any questions, ask them. You can check yourself whether you have understood everything correctly. to do this, it is enough to repeat what the teacher said, but in your own words. In this situation, each party will be able to clarify if there is a need for this.
The main rule that you should follow during a conversation with a teacher is to listen to him as carefully as possible. Many teachers complain about the neglect of the advice of the teaching staff, distraction on the part of parents. In most cases, they believe, parents go to the conversation with an already established, subjective opinion, which can not be changed.
One meeting may not be enough. If you learn from a teacher that your child needs to improve in several subjects, you should look at the school again a few weeks later. It is better not to wait for months for the situation with ratings to normalize by itself.
Thanks to a timely meeting with teachers, you will be able to prevent various academic and social problems. In the lower grades, such conversations are mandatory. But when the child goes to the middle and senior level, you will have to take the initiative in your own hands, and make an appointment with a particular teacher yourself. The main thing is that frequent conversations with teachers are not regarded from the position of excessive guardianship of children.
Waiting on each other
It is important to understand that even the most fair assessments (which your child receives) are not devoid of subjectivity. It is enough to recall such famous people as Charles Darwin or Thomas Edison; they were once considered by teachers to be among the students who were not able to study. Therefore, watch your children at home, be objective, and schedule meetings with teachers on time, so that unjustified contradictions are smoothed out.
If you have the opportunity to attend the school parent forum, where open discussions on various issues are organized, show interest in what you have heard, Express your doubts and ask urgent questions. Learn to discuss with teachers; take note of the following topics that are relevant to both the school and the family: “The role of the educational institution and the family in our time?”, ” What can we expect from each other?”, ” what should help our children?»
And in conclusion, I would like to wish to be more tolerant and responsive to each other. It is not easy to fulfill your parental responsibilities when you have to meet the incompatible desires and needs of each of the household. Teachers, in addition to the workload at work, have their own everyday problems. Therefore, you should show tact in any situation, learn to praise and forgive each other, and trust more.